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Can I be real with you for a minute? I’m rapidly approaching full-blown middle age, and I’m feeling every bit of it this morning. I can remember a time, not even too long ago, when I figured I’d at least be able to understand the appeal of all the latest trends, forever, and stay up on new music and formulate sharp-eyed opinions on all the newest cultural phenomena. Then it all got away from me.
I’ve never played Fortnite, a video game apparently so addictive that the 2018 Phillies couldn’t stop playing it until Carlos Santana took a bat to a clubhouse TV in the midst of a late-season losing streak. Baseball players love Fortnite. It seems like the game’s moment has passed now, but for a minute, it appeared that basically every single person under 30 was focused only on Fortnite.
There is some guy named Ninja who made millions of dollars streaming himself playing so other people can watch. I watch plenty of dumb stuff myself so I know I am in no position to judge, but man, I just don’t get it. And the part of me that was once eager to understand such trends now, with increasing frequency, thinks, “meh, I’ll catch the next one.” Honestly, if I wanted to watch Ninja play Fortnite, I wouldn’t even know where to go. That’s how I know I’m old.
J.R. Smith (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)
Also: I fully support the use of cargo shorts and flip-flops. I have precisely zero tattoos, and I cannot even begin to comprehend how eager today’s young people seem to permanently adorn their bodies with, like, gorillas and such.
It’s not that I think it’s indecent or immoral or anything of the sort. It’s your body and you can decorate it however the heck you please. There’s undoubtedly artistry and beauty and skill to the ink, and I 100% understand defying your father by getting a tattoo if your father happens to be LaVar Ball.
It’s commitment that I don’t get. I remember wanting a tattoo when I was in college because practically no one at my school had tattoos and I thought it’d be a way to reveal myself as different and artsy and cool. But I could never come up with anything I knew I would want to rep for the rest of my life. And now, when I think back on the type of thing I considered getting inked on me forever, I’m so, so, so glad I never went through with,…
Popular Fortnite Merch
- DART BLASTING FORTNITE BLASTER REPLICA: This AR L blaster is inspired by the blaster used in Fortnite, capturing the look and colors of the one in the popular video game
- MOTORIZED 10 DART BLASTING: Blast 10 darts from this motorized blaster that has an acceleration button to power up the motor (batteries required, not included)
- 20 DARTS AND 10 DART CLIP: Includes a 10 dart clip and 20 Official Nerf Elite darts.To ensure proper use of AR L blaster ensure access door is fully closed before use. Make sure clip is inserted fully...
- Jenga game with a Fortnite twist: It's an exciting Jenga game with artwork, themes, and characters inspired by the popular Fortnite online video game
- Spin, stack, climb: Players spin the spinner and follow the commands: the number and type of Blocks to stack, and how many layers their Fortnite character must climb
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- Practice your aim with this targeting set: this set includes an spmrnum-r blaster, 6 darts and 3 llama targets so you can practice your aim or play competitive games with family and friends
- Includes 3 llama targets: comes with 3 llama targets in different sizes to set up exciting games that challenge skills and test aim and accuracy
- Dart-blasting Fortnite blaster replica: this spmrnum-r blaster is inspired by the blaster used in Fortnite, capturing the look and colors of the one in the popular video game
- Dart-blasting replica of the Fortnite blaster: this its blaster is inspired by the blaster used in the popular Fortnite video game
- Pump-action 4-dart blasting: blast 4 darts in a row from this 4-dart, pump-action blaster that's hand-powered by you (no batteries required)
- 8 darts and storage stock: includes 8 official Nerf Mega darts and has storage on the stock for 4 darts, so you can keep backup darts nearby for fast reloading
- Super-Soft, Huggable Plush for All Ages
- High-Quality Materials
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- Epic Games
- Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
- Paperback: 112 pages
- Measures 14 inches tall and includes 23 pieces-9 weapons, 4 Back Bling, 8 exclusive building materials and a llama float that fits many 4" Fortnite action figures! Plus, it's pre-filled with a 4-inch...
- Giddy-Up features 25+ points of articulation and highly detailed decoration inspired by one of the most popular outfits from Epic Games' Fortnite.
- Bursting with colorful confetti, reveal your loot by tearing open your Llama to see a War Paint figure and a bunch of cool accessories.
- Ragnarok, Rex, Cuddle Team Leader and Brite Bomber 4" action figures - inspired by four of the most popular outfits from Epic Games' Fortnite.
- 19 points of articulation
- Highly detailed decoration
