Forget Fortnite—my son is still obsessed with Minecraft

Though my ten-year-old’s obsession with Minecraft first took hold three years ago—back when Minecraft was all the rage—I have to hand it to him. He’s sticking with it, despite the imperialist hegemony of Fortnite. What’s more, he’s not a fan of the newer game. “Too much violence,” he says, despite his affection for Nerf guns and laser tag.

The Minecraft connection began when some of my friends came by with an iPad and a teenager. “While we catch up,” my friends said, “Henry [their kid] can show Gus [my kid] all the stuff he’s building in Minecraft.” 

It sounded innocent enough—not like the kind of thing that would destroy the very fabric of our family.

“Hey dad,” Gus asked the next day. “Can I download an app? It’s only $4.99.” 

Coincidentally, his aunt had just sent him an iTunes gift card, so who was I to say no?

Five minutes later, he was laughing at the iPad. I felt good. For once I had done the right thing. I had allowed him his freedom. Little did I know that would be the last normal conversation my son and I would share before I lost him forever, literally down a mineshaft.

Hours later, he remained unmoved on the couch, still chuckling at the device.

“What are you watching now?” I asked.

“Still playing Minecraft!” he shouted over the din in his earbuds.

I choked on my coffee. What would my wife do when she caught wind of this? We had not discussed whether or not downloading Minecraft was okay. 

I began formulating my arguments. My first line of defense would be to deny culpability: “I didn’t know what he was downloading!” No good. What parent lets his kid download something without knowing what it is? 

Better to play the nostalgia card. “Let’s not overreact here,” I’d mansplain. “Don’t forget—you had an Atari 2600 growing up. And when I was seven, I had some weird triangular Coleco thing. I spent my childhood days rotating a giant knob in order to hit a green square with a rectangle. And I turned out fine!”

As is often encouraged in parenting books that I’ve read the jackets of while waiting for my family at the mall, it’s best to show some interest in your children’s activities. So I took a seat next to Gus on the sofa.

“Wow!” I said, “Looks cool. Kind of pixellated and retro-y. Yet futuristic.”

 “Want to see my house?” Gus said. “That’s my bed…”

A bed? In a video game? How raunchy does this game get?

“Why do…